Is This a test?!

 
I'm not going to lie...yes, I have resorted to online dating....thanks to Lesbiana.  Wait, before you judge, it isn't that bad.  I think of it as meeting a stranger in the mall and exchanging numbers.  The only thing missing is the body language.  Yes, I know you can get all types of vibes from body language, but the truth is that lately, I have been a bad judge of character.  Even when I meet guys in person and I like them they always seem to be "bad."

Anyway, I was browsing through the dating site and I came across this gorgeous guy I will call Mateo.
He was mixed- his mom is Caucasian and his dad is African American.  I decided to send him a message.  It was something pretty generic like, "nice pics."  He complimented me back and he seemed to be a nice guy.  He was a bit flirty, but I took that as him being interested in me.  I hate giving out my number, but we exchanged numbers.

He started texting me immediately...but the texts became a little overly flirty (That is the best way to describe it).  This idiot sent me a picture of his "wang," also known as "johnson," or "tally wackle,"......HIS PENIS!

Ok, I'm going to veer off course for a second here.  His penis was monstrous....it actually scared me!  One thing that men should know is that women don't mind a nice average sized penis, but a monster like that is a bit of a turn off.  Not to mention, seeing a picture of a penis doesn't exactly turn me on or make me want to talk to you....I am abstinent for God's sake!

I was def taken aback by the picture so I diverted the conversation elsewhere to let him know that his picture didn't impress me.  It seemed like the only thing he wanted to talk about was me in his bed.  I should have just told him to stop texting me, but I didn't...I just started not really responding.  I ignored him for a couple of days.  He continued to text, so I responded with 1 word answers and he still managed to take the conversation to sex.

He asked me if I wanted to see his "wang" again...is he serious?!  I decided it was time to let him know that this ain't working!  In response to his ever so generous offer, I replied, "No.  I think you just want sex...that is all you talk about.  This isn't going to work.  I have kind of lost interest.  Sorry."

I haven't heard from him since...I guess I should have been more direct from the start.  If this was a test, I think I passed with a B-...well make that a C.