I was thinking yesterday, how does someone know if they have low self-esteem?
According to Wikipedia, it is a term that shows a person's general assessment of their worth. I became so interested in this topic because over the past week I have heard friends say some pretty negative things about themselves, particularly their bodies and then I did a fashion show yesterday with some models and I was amazed at some of the things I heard and saw. Typically, when I think about a model, I think about someone that is considered to be beautiful or "perfect" physically. (I am using the word "perfect" a bit loosely, but hopefully you get what I am saying). Now, this show included some very beautiful people, but it was weird because when I walked around, I heard a lot of "loose chatter." Some girls complained about their bodies and their nose and the shape of their face, etc....It really confused me because when I looked at them, all I saw was beauty. If someone who models has low self-esteem what the heck does that mean for the rest of us LOL?! Maybe self-esteem is just some theory myth thing someone made up to make us look deep within ourselves.
Now, of course, there were plenty of cocky women in the bunch strutting around half naked and showing off their God-given assets, but it just amazed me that so many women have low self-esteem...or maybe self-esteem gets shaken when we are around other people we think are beautiful. (I am sure most if not all women have experienced this on some level...if not, let me help you...it's like you are standing next to a bikini clad Beyonce in a room of 100 horny, single men). Now, I do understand that sometimes people say bad things about themselves in an effort to fish for a compliment, but if you are fishing for a compliment, does this not mean that maybe you have a bit of low self-esteem because you need someone to validate you?
I think a lot of times, self-esteem is measured by how pretty we think we are or how pretty everyone else thinks we are. If your self-esteem is lower than your actual worth, does that mean that you indeed have low self-esteem? I am so curious about this because I have never considered myself to be someone that has low self-esteem, but when I was in college, I dated this guy who cheated on me. He was the first guy to ever cheat on me (that I know of). Of course I broke up with him, but because of that experience, my confidence was shaken. (I will talk about him in another post- that might be too much right now).
After I got cheated on, I wondered if I did something to make it happen, but I realized that when people cheat, it isn't always your fault. Sometimes people cheat because there is something wrong with them. I wanted to see all sides though because I didn't want to be that woman that gets cheated on and acts like I was the perfect girlfriend and I did everything I could to keep them. I have no problem admitting if I am wrong or accepting constructive criticism. In this situation, I think he had a never ending desire for sex with a bunch of women and he acted on those desires.Anyway, for a time, I remember not feeling like I was as confident as I used to because of that situation. I still never considered myself as having low self-esteem although I probably did, according to Wikipedia. I don't think I completely rebuilt my confidence until about 4 years ago when I got pregnant. LOL, I know that is weird to feel sexy and pregnant, but it can happen.
Last week, a guy that I used to date texted/called me out of nowhere. I was shocked. I told him I did a big fashion show and that I was so nervous before I did it because I'm older (28 is considered to be on the older side in the modeling world-I don't see myself as being "old") and I haven't done a lot of modeling in the past few years. I was a bit shocked when he told me how beautiful he thought I was. When he said that, it was almost unbelievable because I don't feel as beautiful as he described me to be. It made me wonder if my self-esteem could still use a little boost. (No, he wasn't trying to get any...he isn't like that. He is someone that I consider to be a real friend, although we don't talk much). I remember when I was younger and I would go to castings and shows and I was never nervous about how I looked. Maybe that just happens with age...or maybe that is a self-esteem issue.
Trust me, I'm not fishing for a compliment, but I sometimes wonder what people see when they look at me. I wonder if they think I have high self-esteem, do they think I'm pretty, do I have a friendly demeanor, do I seem approachable? I wonder if a lot of other women think about this...LOL, maybe this is a single woman problem. I still wouldn't say that I have low self-esteem...I love myself a healthy amount, I just think that self-esteem levels change over time and change because of life situations. I guess as long as we can look in the mirror and feel "generally" good about ourselves and not hate what we see when we look in the mirror we are ok. As a side note, when I'm feeling a little low, I look in the mirror and do some self affirmations,wear a "pop of color," or do my "I'm a bad chick chant" (MAYBE I will tell you about that later), and keep it moving. I'm only 1 woman, but I feel like it it is safe to say that most women have higher self-esteem when they feel good about how they look.Today, I saw this video and it made me smile:
(I told you this post was a bit jumbled)!
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