Why do Female Friendships Always Turn Catty?! (PART I)

This is probably a question that Einstein himself can't even answer: Why do female friendships always turn catty?  I have seen female friendships fall apart over the dumbest things and I have even been apart of some of those dumb fallouts.  I have lost friends because I had a baby, I have lost friends over $20 (yes, $20)!, and I have lost friends over men.  I wonder what is in our DNA that causes these issues because men never have these problems, they just fight and move on.

I have a friend who I will call Brielle.  Brielle is a good friend for the most part, but I think she is a bit stubborn, she can never see the error of her ways, and she is loyal to people who have talked about her like a dog behind her back.  (I can't possibly tell you about all of these things today).  Brielle and I are considered to be super close, but the problem that I have with Brielle is that she is really inconsiderate and unsupportive.  (Sidenote: why are the people that you talk to the least the most supportive?  I have Facebook friends who offer more support than people I see all the time.  I have friends I haven't talked to in years who support me more than some of the closest people to me).  I'm guessing you are wondering why her and I are friends...well...um...she is a good friend in other aspects.

Brielle has 2 friends, who happen to be sisters, and all of us were friends at 1 point.  The clique started to crack when I became a mother.  The 2 sisters no longer wanted to invite me out because my answer wasn't always yes.  When I became a mom, my priorities changed.  I didn't want to be out in the streets and I had an infant at home.  Also, I was breastfeeding, so going out for long periods of time was tough.  My boobs would fill up with milk and they would even leak sometimes so I would have to pump while I was away from my son.  Breastfeeding is a full time job and I am proud to say that I did it.  Ok, I am getting off the breastfeeding soapbox and back on topic.  (Hopefully I haven't grossed out my male readers LOL)!

Brielle didn't really object to them trying to kick me out of the group.  I thought that was messed up because I thought that my friend would go to bat for me.  I guess you can't expect people with no children to understand.

Anyway, the 2 sisters officially kicked me out of the clique because we got a hotel room for a trip and the hotel gave us the wrong room and was going to charge us $300 to cancel.  They wanted me to reimburse them for the room and pay the cancellation fee.  I don't really see how that is fair.  If anything, I think we should have split the cancellation fee.  I decided we would keep the room because it was cheaper, but because they were sisters they ganged up on me and tried to bully me for the money, which mind you was like $20-$50.  LOL!  Usually I avoid confrontation, but I verbally fought these 2 head on.  I was rather proud of myself..

Needless to say, the sisters and I are no longer friends and I'm cool with that because I feel like they were looking for a reason to kick me out of the group and they found a reason...not a good one, but a reason none the less.

Recently Brielle invited me to a dinner where the sisters would be in attendance.  When she asked me, she didn't even bother to tell me they were coming.  Them coming wouldn't stop me from going to the dinner, but as a close friend I expect her to give me a heads up because it is an uncomfortable situation.  She said she doesn't have to tell me anything...I guess it is true that birds of a CATTY feather flock together!!!  Wait, does that mean I am catty too because I was once friends with all of them?!  It might be time for some personal reflection.

Save the Drama for your mama...or Baby Daddy in this Case

I have a friend who is a mother of a son- she isn't with his father.  She was talking to me the other day and she asked me for my advice about how to handle her son's father.  I'm not a baby daddy handling expert although I do have a son from a previous relationship-that is the nice way of saying I have a baby daddy too.  I was a little uncomfortable, but she needed me, so I listened...

Some might consider this mean but...

 Alright, so it's no secret, my dating history is pretty crazy...per my previous posts.    This past weekend was very interesting to say the least.  I ran into an ex boyfriend and a person that I used to talk to.

My faith in love has been restored...hopefully this isn't too mushy for you guys...

Ok, so I've been keeping a little secret.  I have been getting to know someone for almost 6 months...I know I know, you want to know why I have been holding out.  Well, the answer is simple, I didn't want to jinx it and I felt like revealing too much about him would do just that.  Now I'm ready to tell you about him and how we met.

I'm Baaaaaaaccccckkkkk!

So, I know I don't have to say it, but it's been a while.  I took a little break from writing, not because there was a lack of material, but I just wasn't really up to writing...that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Anyway, I know you want the juice....so here it is.  I think in previous posts, I called my love interest Maurice, well Maurice and I were going strong up until  probably February and I realized that emotionally I just wasn't in it anymore.  Here is my reasoning and I know you guys are going to roast me for some of the things I say, but I can take it because this is how I really feel.

Disaster Day!

Saturday was beautiful and horrible all at the same time.  You already know I'm going to give you a play-by-play.

I went to a baby shower for 1 of my college friends who is having a little girl.  The baby shower was beautiful and so was she.  She carries her pregnancy so well!  I wasn't able to stay at the baby shower as long as I wanted because I had a wedding to attend that was about 2 hours away.

I said my goodbyes at the baby shower and rushed off so that I could get to the wedding on time.  When I say rushed...I actually rushed and ended up getting a speeding ticket from a cop driving the opposite way on the highway...I'm not going to lie, I thought about crying to get out of my ticket, but I sucked it up and took the ticket because I was speeding.  Now, while the cop was giving me the ticket he asked me where I was headed and I told him a wedding, AKA HURRY UP AND JUST GIVE ME THE FRIGGIN TICKET so I can continue on my way.  Of course he took his sweet little time and continued talking.  At that point, I was almost in tears because he was really about to make me late.

Once I got back on the road, I called my guy friend who was supposed to be meeting me at the wedding to let him know I might be a couple of minutes late.  He started complaining about how he was supposed to work until 5pm, which mind you was the time the wedding was supposed to start.  He was really starting to annoy me because I gave him more than a couple weeks notice about the wedding and he said he could attend.  I even talked to him the day before to re-confirm that he would be coming- he said he was excited to be able to go with me, so it wasn't like I forced him to go with me).  I was beginning to get a bit agitated, but I just let him talk and he eventually told me he was able to get off and that he had to stop by his mother's house before going home to change because she has pneumonia.  I couldn't say anything about that because if my mom was sick she would be my priority too.  He mentioned he might be a couple minutes late and I just reminded him that we can't be too late because the invitation clearly stated that they planned to start on time.

He seemed as if he understood and we got off the phone.  I arrived at the wedding literally 2 minutes late and I saw the wedding party lining up outside the church, so I know I had to hurry.  (Good thing I had put my dress on while I was driving...don't ask me how I did that)!  I practically ran to the front of the church and hugged my friend then went inside to find a seat.  I text my guy friend to let him know where to park because the church parking lot was full. 

The wedding started and my friend was nowhere to be found.  I decided I would focus on the beauty of this wedding and think about him later.  Now, this wedding was beautiful, so you know I cried because I am sensitive.  I will never forget the look on the bride's face as they opened the double doors of the church.  She was beautiful.  She stopped, looked and I saw her mouth the word "wow" as tears welled up in her eyes.  Immediately the tears started streaming down my face.  It was so beautiful to see so much love in her eyes as she walked to the front of the church.  I don't want to keep going because you know I could...but it was just so beautiful!

Anyway, after the wedding, I walked outside to my car, only to realize I had locked my keys in the car.  I have had my car since 2009 and this is the first time I have ever locked my keys in the car.  Since I was carrying a clutch, I decided to remove my door keys from my key ring and I had intended to leave those in the car, but instead I had taken my door keys in with me and left the car keys in the car.  UUUGGGHHH!  I was so embarressed!  As I watched people drive off to party at the reception, I was left alone outside, it was getting dark and cold...I frantically looked around the parking lot for my guy friend, who I assumed would be waiting in the parking lot for me because he was so late that he couldn't get into the wedding.  There was no sign of him.  I called him...he never answered nor did he text me back, so I called someone to bring me my spare keys. 

While I was locked out of the car, I had a little time to think.  The guy who I had invited to attend this wedding with me was someone I considered to be a true friend, but he wasn't the guy that I really wanted to take with me.  The guy I really wanted to go with me was out of town, the 2nd option wasn't sure if he would be in town because he had just accepted a new job, so I was left with someone who I considered to be a true friend, which wasn't a bad thing, but would a true friend stand you up?  The darker and colder it got, the more pissed I got.  No matter what is going on, how could someone not at least text and say I can't come?  Today is Tuesday and he has yet to apologize...needless to say, I unfollowed and unfriended him on all my social media and I text him a little piece of my mind before I erased his number.  I know he is alive because he also unfollowed me on IG. 

I can't lie and say I am over it, although I can laugh about how horribly the day went.  I'm still a bit salty...what about me made him want to stand me up without so much as an I'm sorry?  I'm about to be very real...he isn't super cute and his personality isn't anything to rave about, but he was nice or at least I thought he was.  I should have just planned to attend the wedding alone because that's how I ended up anyway.

Communication is Key and a Title is Everything!

I had an revelation....just like "reading is fundamental,"  COMMUNICATION IS KEY!  Ok, so it's a rather dumb revelation, but I get it now.