I took the advice from 1 of my dear friends and I tried online dating. Ok, before you judge, just listen. I'm not sure why people find online dating to be so taboo and weird. Last night, I was talking to 1 of my close friends from college and she said that online dating is great because you get to set your own rules and really say exactly what you want. I know that sounds easy, but let's be real...as a woman, I know we don't always put all of our cards on the table because we don't want guys to think we just want to jump into any ol' relationship or that we are desperate for a man. Online dating is so great because you can chat with someone and if you don't like them, you can ignore them without having to worry about your phone getting blown up by multiple text messages or back to back calls. Also, I find it easy to reject men online because the fear of hurting someone's feelings is practically non-existent. (I'm still nice, I can just be a bit more blunt- no sugar coating stuff lol). People never want to admit that they date online, but as I cruised through the site, I ran across people I knew in high school, college, etc...yeah, don't lie, some of you are giving it a try...I've seen you. You could be on there for booty call purposes, but that's not my business. I have even seen people I know that have boyfriends or girlfriends on this site...*side eye*....but once again not my business lol!
Anyway, I went on 2 dates with 2 different guys that I met on the site. Guy#1 I will call Kevin. He was decent looking, but we had great conversation. He was very confident, almost cocky, and he plays baseball. He has a dry sense of humor that I found to be intriguing. We talked online for a few days and then we exchanged numbers. After some very great phone conversations, I agreed to meet up with him. We settled on a lil bar/restaurant type place-very laid back. When I arrived, he called me to tell me he was standing outside. Now, it was a bit dark, but I did see a figure standing in front of the door in basketball shorts and a wife beater type shirt. I just knew that couldn't have been him, so my eyes immediately went passed this guy...well, I was wrong...that was him. I stopped my car abruptly and sat there in disbelief...how dare this guy come on a date with me in basketball shorts and a wife beater?! Not only is that rude, but it let me know exactly how unimportant this date was to him-STRIKE 1! It took everything I had not to drive off. I said a lil prayer and decided that the right thing to do was to go ahead and go on the date, but to make it short and sweet, althought I knew it would be a waste of time because I had already lost interest.
I got inside and ignored his hideous attire. We had great conversation, but I noticed he looked a bit different from his pictures. He was less attractive then what his pictures portrayed. I kind of expected that though because of course people only put their best pics online. I felt no chemistry and this is probably because I prejudged him on his attire, but I'm going to be honest...I put my best foot forward not knowing how this date would go because if I ended up liking this guy, I would want to impress him. How could he not want the same thing? Further more, this idiot had the nerve to say if I had gotten out of the car and was unattractive he was going to run back to his car and just leave me there- STRIKE 2! When he said that I just laughed a very dry laugh and prayed that the Lord would keep my mouth shut because I wanted to tell him I almost drove off when I saw him in those basketball shorts and wife beater. What's funny is that he did mention that he thought I was going to drive off when he saw me stop my car to see if that was him...thank God for tinted windows, cause if he had seen my face he probably would have known exactly how I felt.
I guess Kevin was feeling himself so he started rubbing on my back in the bar and massaging my shoulders. I politely pulled away, so he would excuse his hands off my body- STRIKE 3! When it was time to go, he begged me to stay another hour, I politely declined, but his begging didn't stop there, he decided to negotiate with me about how long I should stay- STRIKE 4! In my opinion, when I got out of the car and began talking to him I had already stayed too long. ( I know that sounds mean, but "I'm just bein honest" Future voice lol). Wait, he should know you only get 3 strikes in baseball, so I should have been gone 1 strike ago.
When Kevin walked me to my car, he hugged me like he was in love. He was caressing my back and and trying to hold me all close. He even tried to position his head so that if I turned my head towards him he could steal a kiss. I know this trick and it never works unless I want to be kissed. I felt like an anaconda was trying to swallow me, so I wiggled my way out of his arms and finally made it back to my safe haven-my car. I don't have to say it, but I will- I don't want to see him again.He invited me to come hang out with him for Halloween the following day, but I declined for all the reasons listed above and because I have a child, so it is important for me to be with him especially on days like Halloween because we were dressing up and going to a festival. Do you know this dude got an attitude with me when I told him I had some stuff I wanted to do with my son and I have to go to work the next day so I don't want to be tired. He said I made him feel like he wasn't worth my time and that people make time for the things they want. I decided to go ahead and tell him...he is right. I told him that I felt like he didn't even take the time to dress like he was interested in me or like he wanted me to be interested in him. Also, as a mother, I take my son very serious. Spending time with him and doing fun things with him is so important to me because it creates memories and I know there will come a day when it isn't "cool" to hang with your mom, so I want to cherish every moment. *Tear. Plus, I would put my son on the back burner for any guy, even if I did like him!
He proceeded to text me the longest text message ever about how he knows we have chemistry because he felt it when he hugged me...sorry, but perception is not reality my friend and I hate to tell him, but his perception is very incorrect. He said he was sorry for not putting his best foot forward and that he just didn't want to meet me and I was a catfish or something. I understand no one wants to be catfished, but this is a part of online dating that you have to embrace. Sometimes you get what you see in the pics and sometimes you don't, but if you do, you better have your ish together so that the other person will be interested in you-DUH! Ever since that day he has been texting me trying to convince me that he is a great guy and how I should give him a chance. 1st impressions are everything and I'm just not that into him. For any guys reading this, please know that I don't think women like a begging man...it's not cute. If you get a no, take it like a man and move on. One last thing, this story proves that the same losers you can meet in the club, at the grocery store, or the coffee shop are online too. Given my history of dating, he falls right in line with the previous guys I have dated lol!
This post ended up being longer than I thought...I will tell you about guy#2 later. He's amazing!
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