My faith in love has been restored...hopefully this isn't too mushy for you guys...

Ok, so I've been keeping a little secret.  I have been getting to know someone for almost 6 months...I know I know, you want to know why I have been holding out.  Well, the answer is simple, I didn't want to jinx it and I felt like revealing too much about him would do just that.  Now I'm ready to tell you about him and how we met.

Disaster Day!

Saturday was beautiful and horrible all at the same time.  You already know I'm going to give you a play-by-play.

I went to a baby shower for 1 of my college friends who is having a little girl.  The baby shower was beautiful and so was she.  She carries her pregnancy so well!  I wasn't able to stay at the baby shower as long as I wanted because I had a wedding to attend that was about 2 hours away.

I said my goodbyes at the baby shower and rushed off so that I could get to the wedding on time.  When I say rushed...I actually rushed and ended up getting a speeding ticket from a cop driving the opposite way on the highway...I'm not going to lie, I thought about crying to get out of my ticket, but I sucked it up and took the ticket because I was speeding.  Now, while the cop was giving me the ticket he asked me where I was headed and I told him a wedding, AKA HURRY UP AND JUST GIVE ME THE FRIGGIN TICKET so I can continue on my way.  Of course he took his sweet little time and continued talking.  At that point, I was almost in tears because he was really about to make me late.

Once I got back on the road, I called my guy friend who was supposed to be meeting me at the wedding to let him know I might be a couple of minutes late.  He started complaining about how he was supposed to work until 5pm, which mind you was the time the wedding was supposed to start.  He was really starting to annoy me because I gave him more than a couple weeks notice about the wedding and he said he could attend.  I even talked to him the day before to re-confirm that he would be coming- he said he was excited to be able to go with me, so it wasn't like I forced him to go with me).  I was beginning to get a bit agitated, but I just let him talk and he eventually told me he was able to get off and that he had to stop by his mother's house before going home to change because she has pneumonia.  I couldn't say anything about that because if my mom was sick she would be my priority too.  He mentioned he might be a couple minutes late and I just reminded him that we can't be too late because the invitation clearly stated that they planned to start on time.

He seemed as if he understood and we got off the phone.  I arrived at the wedding literally 2 minutes late and I saw the wedding party lining up outside the church, so I know I had to hurry.  (Good thing I had put my dress on while I was driving...don't ask me how I did that)!  I practically ran to the front of the church and hugged my friend then went inside to find a seat.  I text my guy friend to let him know where to park because the church parking lot was full. 

The wedding started and my friend was nowhere to be found.  I decided I would focus on the beauty of this wedding and think about him later.  Now, this wedding was beautiful, so you know I cried because I am sensitive.  I will never forget the look on the bride's face as they opened the double doors of the church.  She was beautiful.  She stopped, looked and I saw her mouth the word "wow" as tears welled up in her eyes.  Immediately the tears started streaming down my face.  It was so beautiful to see so much love in her eyes as she walked to the front of the church.  I don't want to keep going because you know I could...but it was just so beautiful!

Anyway, after the wedding, I walked outside to my car, only to realize I had locked my keys in the car.  I have had my car since 2009 and this is the first time I have ever locked my keys in the car.  Since I was carrying a clutch, I decided to remove my door keys from my key ring and I had intended to leave those in the car, but instead I had taken my door keys in with me and left the car keys in the car.  UUUGGGHHH!  I was so embarressed!  As I watched people drive off to party at the reception, I was left alone outside, it was getting dark and cold...I frantically looked around the parking lot for my guy friend, who I assumed would be waiting in the parking lot for me because he was so late that he couldn't get into the wedding.  There was no sign of him.  I called him...he never answered nor did he text me back, so I called someone to bring me my spare keys. 

While I was locked out of the car, I had a little time to think.  The guy who I had invited to attend this wedding with me was someone I considered to be a true friend, but he wasn't the guy that I really wanted to take with me.  The guy I really wanted to go with me was out of town, the 2nd option wasn't sure if he would be in town because he had just accepted a new job, so I was left with someone who I considered to be a true friend, which wasn't a bad thing, but would a true friend stand you up?  The darker and colder it got, the more pissed I got.  No matter what is going on, how could someone not at least text and say I can't come?  Today is Tuesday and he has yet to apologize...needless to say, I unfollowed and unfriended him on all my social media and I text him a little piece of my mind before I erased his number.  I know he is alive because he also unfollowed me on IG. 

I can't lie and say I am over it, although I can laugh about how horribly the day went.  I'm still a bit salty...what about me made him want to stand me up without so much as an I'm sorry?  I'm about to be very real...he isn't super cute and his personality isn't anything to rave about, but he was nice or at least I thought he was.  I should have just planned to attend the wedding alone because that's how I ended up anyway.

I think I Have Kept You Waiting Long Enough...Here is the Good News!

The good news is that I have actually found someone I like :).
He is amazing and I am not embarrassed to say that I met him online.  Just to backtrack a little, at the end of last year, God and I had a conversation.  I was talking to him about love and the things that I want for myself and my son for this year.  God told me that he was going to bring something special into my life this year.  As November approached, I wondered if I had misunderstood God or if I was overlooking the person he had brought to me as the year is almost over.  In mid October, I purchased some Larimar, which is a blue stone that is thought to be able to help you attract your soul mate or bring love into your life because of its positive energies.  I bought this as a reminder of the promise that God had made to me.  Sometimes it helps for me to have something physical as a reminder like a vision board.  (Speaking of a vision board, I need to start updating mine for next year).  (Don't worry, I'm a Christian, I'm not into magic or anything crazy lol I just needed something physical and that Larimar helped me re-focus every time I passed it-I placed it on my dresser next to my cross so I would see it every time I left my bedroom).

Finally, Some Good News, Well, Almost...Stay Tuned!

I took the advice from 1 of my dear friends and I tried online dating.  Ok, before you judge, just listen.  I'm not sure why people find online dating to be so taboo and weird.  Last night, I was talking to 1 of my close friends from college and she said that online dating is great because you get to set your own rules and really say exactly what you want.  I know that sounds easy, but let's be real...as a woman, I know we don't always put all of our cards on the table because we don't want guys to think we just want to jump into any ol' relationship or that we are desperate for a man.  Online dating is so great because you can chat with someone and if you don't like them, you can ignore them without having to worry about your phone getting blown up by multiple text messages or back to back calls.  Also, I find it easy to reject men online because the fear of hurting someone's feelings is practically non-existent.  (I'm still nice, I can just be a bit more blunt- no sugar coating stuff lol).  People never want to admit that they date online, but as I cruised through the site, I ran across people I knew in high school, college, etc...yeah, don't lie, some of you are giving it a try...I've seen you.  You could be on there for booty call purposes, but that's not my business.  I have even seen people I know that have boyfriends or girlfriends on this site...*side eye*....but once again not my business lol!

FYI...

I hope those of you that read my blog don't view me as someone who is desperate to have a man.  I write about dating because this is a blog about dating. 

Throwback Thursday Storytime: Speed Dating Stalker...Never Again!

A few years ago, I decided to go speed dating.  I even convinced 2 of my friends to go.  Speed dating was on my bucket list, so I was determined to see what it was about.  Once we got our tickets we planned our outfits and all that girly stuff.

Oh, so you mad?!

You may or may not remember Scott...I talked about him in a previous post.

Well, I had a conversation with him a few weeks ago and I basically told him that I am not really into him like that.  Sometimes I like him, but other times I don't because he is disrespectful and I don't feel like he knows how to talk to women.  I think I probably said that wrong because I think I gave him the idea that it was ok to smother me.

Jumbled Thoughts....self-esteem, getting cheated on, etc.

This post is going to be a little jumbled and a little different from my previous posts...there are just a few things I feel the need to discuss.

I was thinking yesterday, how does someone know if they have low self-esteem? 

Throwback Thursday Storytime: The Panty Bandit

I had to be about 19 years old in college, just learning the ins and outs of dating.  I didn't have many boyfriends in high school because I heard a lot of horror stories from my friends and I knew a lot of the guys and they would tell me the things they would do to girls and I wasn't really trying to be a statistic LOL!

One of my close friends at the time, I will call her Von, convinced me to try dating someone older.  I hadn't dated much, but I just knew older men was NOT going to be my thing...but against my better judgment I fell into peer pressure.

Mom Says It's Time for You to Get a Steady Boyfriend!

Last week, I was having some random/general conversation with my mother.  She stops the conversation about says, "Can I ask you a question?"  You know what that means....it's about to get uncomfortable.  Of course, I replied yes and she asked me

Am I Really Wrong for This?

Ok, I need you guys to be blunt with me on this.  Dave, which is a guy that I have talked about in a previous post (Click Here for Background on Dave)  contacted me Sunday. As soon as I saw his name pop up on my phone, I was annoyed, so I waited like an hour before I responded.  Here is how the conversation went:

Matchmaker Friend...Eh, Wish Me Luck!

Last week, I got a Facebook message from a girl I used to work with.  I wouldn't call us friends, because we only communicate on social networks but she is really nice and for some reason I trust her judgment.  If we had worked together longer I def think we could have developed a friendship.  She sent me a message and wanted to know if I was open to being setup with 1 of her friends.

I have actually solicited the help of a REAL professional matchmaker in the past.  I won't put her name of the name of her company because my experience was a bit weird.

Throwback Thursday Story Time: 3am Door & Bedroom Knocking

I couldn't resist telling you all this story.  I know you won't believe it, but it is completely true...NO EXAGGERATION NEEDED!

Um...is the Pot Calling the Kettle Black?!

Before I get into my vent, I should probably give you a little background.  I have a friend who I will call Scott.  I have known him since 2009 or 2010.  We tried dating very briefly, but realized that it wasn't a good idea.  Let me keep it short...Scott was/is a liar.  He tried to date me and someone I used to hang out at work with at the same time and I suspected it, so I asked him about it, but he wouldn't ever confirm it.  I found out 1 day when Lala- the girl I thought he was dating told me a year or 2 ago.  The funny thing is, she never knew he tried to date me.  We put the pieces together and realized what a dog Scott was.  Scott finally admitted to it once I told him that Lala and I talked.  The situation upset me because he knew that Lala and I were building a friendship, so he knew that we knew each other.  (Her and I have a few mutual friends).  I wish I had known Lala better and had been able to ask her about it while the situation was occurring because it was pretty irrelevant now

Now although Scott is a liar, I still was his friend because I decided that I would never date him again after that and the chemistry wasn't so over powering that I couldn't be his friend.  Him and I talk about everything and after I talked to Lala, I told him what we talked about and he still denied it.  I tried to explain to him that I would still be his friend and that I it would mean a lot if he would just admit it.  (It's hard to be real friends with a liar).  He finally admitted and I explained to him this is why we can't ever date.  (He always made it clear that he still liked me).  It's hard to deal with a liar without turning into a crazy person because you can never believe what they say and I refuse to be THAT girl who acts like a lunatic.

I said all of this to get to this.  A couple of weeks ago, Scott and I went and had lunch.  Scott has been a bit persistent in that he thinks that he can show me a good time especially since the last couple of guys that I have dated have sucked.  Now Scott, DOES know about my blog, so that came up.  He actually reads it and he texts me his opinions.  He recently told me that I should include some positive dating experiences on my blog, so I was going to post about our lunch "date" thing, because it was pretty positive and he said he didn't mind me writing about him.  (I don't normally write about people that are very close to me because I don't want to hurt anyone).  I told him I am going to type exactly how I feel, so don't get mad and he said ok  I had my new post about him all typed up and everything, but something would let me post it.  I decided to wait....

After I posted that story about the mailbox guy yesterday, Scott text me...

Scott: Ok babe, ya most recent post (which I thought would be bout me :/) u sound like a blonde headed white girl with no common sense.  If he comments on ya body when ya'll first met, he is letting you know his aim.  If then he texts you about  basically getting drunk with him THE FIRST TIME HE TEXTS U then makes a remark about finding a way to make u sweat...LMAO this should have been a no brainer I'm disappointed in u.  LMAO haven't u learned ANYTHING from me??  Haha still love you tho.
[Scott's mother is Caucasian, so his blond girl comment shouldn't be taken any sort of way].

Me: He wasn't trying to get drunk, people drink rum when they have a cold.  I think they drink it in a hot toddy to get rid of the cold.  He already had my number when he made the comment about my body.  I already knew the answer, just wanted to get opinions to see if other people would react the way I did.

Scott: What are people saying?  Lol cause you def didn't over react.  Knowing you, you'll still talk to him lol.
[In my mind I was thinking...thanks for saying I have no standards]

Me:  ...I still talk to you.
[Meaning he did me wrong and I am still friends with him so what makes him different?  I don't actually talk to the mailbox guy anymore because that text rubbed me the wrong way...just in case you wanted to know].

He didn't say anything after I text that to him, but his texts frustrated me for a number of reasons.  He basically called me stupid and said I have no standards.  Also, how can he judge anyone when he tried to date me and someone I considered a friend and know about AND BE OK WITH THAT.  He isn't any better than the guy in the last post.  At least the guy in the last post was a stranger...he wasn't someone I knew and considered a friend.

To make things even worse, Scott really thinks that I can see myself with him.  Why does he think he has been in the friend zone for so long?  He needs to learn how to talk to women and not judge other people when it comes to dating because he has a sketchy past and a very checkered present as it relates to women.

So much for a positive post....

Should I be Offended or am I Over- Reacting?!

This past weekend, I have been super sick with a really bad cold thanks to my son lol!  All weekend, we pretty stayed in and tried to get over the worst part of the cold together, the chills, cold sweats, fever, incessant coughing, etc.

Sunday, we decided to take a little trip to the mailbox on our way back home from the store.  As soon as I pulled up to the mailbox, I saw this gorgeous guy posting some flyers near my mailbox.  I wanted to sit in car until he left because I knew I looked horrible.  I still had a bit of a fever and I was dressed in sweats and a boy beater, with my hair pulled back into a ponytail and not a drop of makeup...not even chapstick/lip gloss.

I knew I couldn't hide in the car, so I mustered up the courage to get out of the car...I just decided I would avoid eye contact at all costs.  As soon as I got out of the car, he looked in my direction and said,

Burning Questions!

I haven't posted in a few days, I have been pretty busy with my son and work.  Today, I have a couple of questions?  Any type of opinion would be nice because I am way past confused...

Do I look like a prostitute to you?!

This weekend, I didn't go on any dates.  Friday I hung out with Lesbiana and at a little bar, then Saturday afternoon I hung out with Mercedes, my other bff.  Saturday night, I went to my sister's birthday party, and Sunday I took sometime to recuperate and spend some quality time with my son.  It was definitely a busy weekend.

Saturday night, I got a text from Dave.  (The guy who basically had a girlfriend the whole time he was trying to date me).  As soon as I saw his name, I was slightly annoyed because I won't lie, I still feel some type of way because of the way our "friendship" ended.  (I'm not sure what else to call it).


Dave: Yo I know we don't talk but my homegirl just seen your pic on IG and wanted me to ask you abt hanging out w/u.
 
Me: What's her name?

Dave: Hanging out like freaking u

Me: Oh lol, no I'm good...lol

Dave: Yea I figure that but she made me text u.

Ok, let me explain this text... When he text me, I thought he was saying that 1 of his friends, that maybe he introduced me too, wanted to hang out, as in link up and do girl stuff, like go out or go to the movies or something.  Dave has a lot of friends and his female friends are women that we went to college with that I didn't know in college.  Maybe I am naive, but some of his female friends are very  nice and there are a couple that I would hang out with because we have a lot in common.  I definitely didn't think that he was texting me to hook me up with a female to have sex with...

All I could do was laugh because I really wanted to curse him out.  I am straight and I am confident enough in my sexuality to say that another woman is pretty or dresses well, but I'm not the least bit interested in starting a relationship with a woman.  One of my best friends is a lesbian and I love her to death, but I'm just not into women like that.  Women are sensitive, emotional, and act crazy on their periods...I have enough work dealing with my own emotions and attitude, why the hell would I want to date another woman and deal with all her emotions too LOL!

Now, I don't know if he was trying to be funny, or if he was trying to get a rise out of me, or if he just wanted to say something and see if I would respond, or if he just wanted to see if I would try this with 1 of his friends....All I know is that I was offended that he would try and set me up with someone for sex....is he friggin serious?!  Something told me to ignore him when I saw his text pop up on my phone, but I figured it was just innocent.  I'm starting to believe that nothing involving Dave is innocent.

I don't like to argue...but maybe I should have said:

Dave, thank you so much for such a gracious offer, but I will have to pass because you couldn't pay me enough to be involved with you or any of your friends, especially if they are anything like you.  If you are interested in setting her up with a prostitute, I'm sure you can find 1 on a street corner somewhere in Atlanta or maybe even craigslist.  I'm not a hooker, nor am I interested in being 1.  You should be ashamed of yourself for even sending me that type of text especially since you and I "dated" and I use that term very loosely.  Do yourself a favor and lose my number before I facebook your girlfriend and tell her what a low life douche bag you are...oh and have a nice night :).

LOL!  I know I don't have the best luck when it comes to dating, but I'm def going to stick to dating men and I def don't see myself turning into a high priced prostitute anytime in the future.

The Crazy Ex Continues....

Ok, so you remember that last post about Nilo and his ex?  Well, she hasn't quite gone away yet...I am on Instagram and Nilo and I do follow each other on there, which is nothing because I let almost anyone follow me on Instagram.

The other day I received some requests to follow me....yes, my profile is private.  (I prefer to approve people before they follow me.  It helps me keep track of who is following me, so I can see if I want to follow them back).  It was a slew of guys and 1 girl.  I don't usually get requests from women unless I actually know them or met them somewhere.  I couldn't see her face too well, so I approved it and I decided to request to follow her so I could find out who she is.  (Her profile is private too).

Today, I saw that she accepted my request so I begin looking at her pics....

It's Not Meet The Parents....It's Meet My Crazy Ex!

This weekend, I went on a "date" with a guy that I have met twice at 2 different places.  (I put date in quotes, but our first date wasn't exactly a date...I'll explain later).  Let me give you a little background.  I went to Barnacles, which is a restaurant that turns into a bar/club after a certain time with one of my female friends probably late last year.  Her and I were having a great time when this guy, who I will call Nilo came up to me and started talking and buying us drinks.  He was really nice so we exchanged numbers.

We didn't talk that much after exchanging numbers, which is probably my fault because I had a lot going on at the time, so we lost touch.  By lost touch, I mean I erased his number lol.  Anyway, I ran into him again recently at another club and he came up to me and invited me to his VIP section.

OMG Stalker Central!

Yesterday, after work, I ran and picked up my son and then went home.  As soon as I drove up to my place, who did I see?  If it isn't my suspected stalker!!!  He was sitting in his usual location, on the steps near my door with a couple of his friends.  I wanted to just sit in my car with my son, but he had seen me pull up.... and this is MY HOUSE and I should be scared to get out of  MY CAR and walk into MY HOME!