I Want Your Hot Love & Emotion...Endlessly: An Open Letter to My Future Husband

A letter to My Future Husband:

Dear Future Husband,

About a year ago, I had a conversation with God and we came to the realization that I was ready to meet you.  I have done my fair share of dating and entertaining losers, idiots, cheaters, unfaithful morons, and a whole plethora of men I had no business being around.  From every unfortunate experience I took a lesson that I promised myself that I wouldn't repeat.

OMG Stalker Central!

Yesterday, after work, I ran and picked up my son and then went home.  As soon as I drove up to my place, who did I see?  If it isn't my suspected stalker!!!  He was sitting in his usual location, on the steps near my door with a couple of his friends.  I wanted to just sit in my car with my son, but he had seen me pull up.... and this is MY HOUSE and I should be scared to get out of  MY CAR and walk into MY HOME!

Stalker or Sweet?

I go home everyday on my lunch break to inhale some food and get a nap.  (I'm queen of naps).  Lately, when I go home, whether it is on my lunch break or after work, I see this guy sitting on the steps near my door.  We usually speak and I keep it moving.  He isn't my type.  I don't find him attractive, I usually smell weed or cigarette smoke when he is outside, and he is normally dressed crazy-def not clean cut.

Yesterday, my sister stopped by my apartment and found a "love letter" in my door.  It said (I am typing it as is, errors and all):