Why I'm Abstinent...

I guess I should just dive right on in...the last guy I dated was a guy that I knew in college- I'll call him Dave.  I wouldn't say we were friends in college, but we sort of knew each other.  By that I mean that we knew each other's name and we knew that the other was a "cool" person.  We reconnected last year when I attended his birthday party.  To tell you the truth, I was pretty surprised when I received the invite on Facebook, but I decided to go.

Before I decide to tell you why I went, don't judge me.
Ok, here it goes.  He is actually friends with a guy that I had a huge crush on in college and I still have a major crush on, so I figured he would be there.  I arrived at his party with my friend, who I'll call Lesbiana.  It was at a sports bar in an area that I rarely frequented because I view it as a rough side of town.  I desperately scanned the room hoping to see my crush...he was nowhere to be found...UGH!  I tried to curb my disappointment by saying, "It's ok, he will probably come later."

Lesbiana and I mingled with the guys.  I didn't really recognize many women at the party and the majority of the females there were there to "catch a baller."  Dave used to play in the NFL after college, so naturally he was friends with other NFL guys.  (Dave played football in college and was pretty good from what I hear.  I wasn't into keeping up with people's stats).

Anyway, I noticed that Dave appeared to have a girlfriend that was at his party with him, but that didn't stop him from flirting with me.  He told Lesbiana he always had a crush on me in college, which I had no idea.  We exchanged numbers on a friendly level.  As Lesbiana and I continued to mingle, the bar owner came over and offered us free drinks, which we gladly accepted.

A guy I will call Dar that I remember from college came over and started talking to me.  He was always a sweetheart in college.  We were friends on Facebook, but just didn't talk much, so we exchanged numbers.  (I rarely speak to him.  He asked me on a date and he stood me up.  Maybe he felt all high and mighty because he is still in the NFL.  I really don't care about that because I think men in those career fields are the biggest cheaters on the Earth).

Dave and I didn't talk for a month after we exchanged numbers.  I was bored so I called to check up on him and we chatted for a while about random things.  I found out that him and his girlfriend had broken up.  From that point on we started dating.  We were together almost every weekend.  Food, dinner, drinks, club....we had so much fun.  Our dating situation got a little sticky because he later became my son's father's boss, so it made things weird.  They started working together after Dave and I started dating.  My son's father still to this day doesn't even know that we dated.

Dave and I started dating off and on because I found some pictures of him and some girl.  He never would admit that he was dating her.  Then one day we went out after not seeing other for months, had a great time and he called me the next day and confessed....EVERYTHING!  He had a girlfriend the entire time he was dating me.  WHAT A LOSER!  I felt like an idiot.  I really liked this guy and I found out that he was now like the rest of the guys I dated.  I tossed my feelings and the memories that we made in the trash box with the rest of the men I knew.

The only evidence I had was a couple of pictures that he had with this same girl, who he always claimed was a friend.  Now Dave was popular so I thought I was over-reacting, but I should have just followed my gut.  I will from now on.

I said all of this to say that this is why I have made a commitment to be abstinent.  For some reason, I can't give up on men.  I know that there is someone for everyone, including me, and he will appear when I least expect it.  The problem is that I'm expecting him to appear in the next 3 years so we can get married and I can have another baby by the time I'm 32. LOL!  Ok, so maybe I need to slow down...but it isn't bad to have some sort of plan right?!

All I know is that nobody is getting this cookie, this who-ha, this cooter, etc. until I get a commitment and I have full total trust.  I'm committed to being abstinent and that's that!